YOUR BRAIN ON PORN


FACT OR MYTH? 




In the therapy room - “ I cannot get it up”, “My cock is dead”, “Touching boobs do nothing for me”, “My cock is numb”, “I have never enjoyed sex with women - I feel nothing”, “When I had sex for the first time, I needed to fantasize about gang-bang otherwise I couldn’t get hard”, “It is not that we don’t have sex, my husband and I do have sex but after we make love he always jerks off to porn - I feel I’m never enough”

The debate about Porn being acknowledged as an addiction or not has been a HOT topic for at least the last decade or so. When the first accounts of sexual dysfunction and disconnection started gradually popping up online - mostly in forums related to, so-called ‘nerds’ - they caught the attention of Gary Wilson and the rest, as they say, is history (in the making).



Now, if you don’t know who Gary Wilson is here’s an intro to his work Your Brain on Porn - a great book that provides an insight into the early stories Gary was told and an understanding of the neuroscience behind how it all happens as well as practical guidance on how to overcome it.




Here’s my own take on the matter. When I read Porn related articles and social media stuff, especially those dismissing and debunking the effects of Porn - I wonder if the people writing those articles, debating, discussing have ever known, experienced or worked first-hand with a person that is affected by porn because I have and I do! 

"I have heard the voices, seen the eyes, touched the skin, held the tears, felt the loneliness and isolation of countless people that have needed my support to overcome Porn related issues" - many of whom developed social anxiety, depression and some were at the brink of considering suicide - that is what makes it REAL for me, not a word that defines what is or isn`t.

I don’t care if titles and degrees, Doctorates & PhDs have given ammunition to clinically and scientifically debate the ins and outs of whether Porn should or shouldn`t be considered an addiction - it feels to me that this debate is fulled by many with a naive egotistical professional arrogance and misrepresentation of the voices of hundreds of thousands of people worldwide affected by this issue. Today on twitter Gary kindly sent me the link https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/. Thank You! Porn is highly addictive - no question.

This is not about vilifying Pornography; porn can enhance the sexual experience of individuals and couples alike, it can be fun, it can be a healthy turn-on for many people of all ages (over 18 please) and we have the right to choose what we access and is available in our lives.

The key to this discussion and probably every other discussion surrounding sex, sexuality, intimacy, relationship and everything else lies in INFORMATION, EDUCATION, and CHOICE.   
                                                                                                                                         

Gary Wilson and Gabe Deem have paved the way to a new understanding, there are many success stories being told on the back of their work and much help can be accessed online thanks to their platform.


In the therapy room - “Stimulation is everywhere, I couldn’t get rid of it”, “I started watching Porn when I was 13 - I’ve never had a girlfriend”, “ Beyond kissing, I don’t know what real women feel like - I have nothing to compare or look forward to motivating my recovery”, “I don’t go out often, women tend to be attracted to me. I know I can get hard on my own but I don’t know if my cock would work with them (women) - I’m afraid to try. What if I fail?”  

Despite all the great work and help available it’s important to note that not everyone has been able to overcome Porn related sexual & intimacy issues by themselves - for those without partners or those who never had a partner it may be particularly difficult to reboot and connect with intimacy.

If you are experiencing porn-related issues, you are not alone! Check out
yourbrainonporn.com and rebootnation.org. If you feel you’d like extra support or have questions or concerns contact us directly on explore@thenakedroom.co.uk or visit our website www.thenakedroom.co.uk 

With Connected Pleasure
Kaly M

Note: 
  • Our site does contain erotic imagery - viewing is not recommended if you are rebooting. To keep within our accessibility ethos we’ll be designing a page to exclusively address porn issues - our apologies for any inconvenience caused.
  • All blogs are based on my therapeutic experience and overall opinions about a particular subject - In my practice, porn issues have mainly been presented by heterosexual men; singles, virgins, and couples. If you feel your gender, sexual orientation or sexual identity has not been featured or has been misrepresented I’d love to hear and learn from you. 




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