The Allure of Anal Sex - Play, Pleasure & Pain

Anal Play is a different tighter sensation, it’s a little bit naughty and in an interaction between a man (penis owner) and a woman (vulva/vagina owner) it provides some variety and a new perspective to penetrative sex. 

Anal Play has a tang of taboo attached to it, though this is falling away: The taboo status of anal play gives it better credence among the adventuresome and timid alike, and this adds to its attraction. Once tried, however, anal can quickly gain or lose its appeal.


Because it feels good
In fact, It can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else you may have felt before -- it's deep inside. The sphincter and rectum, once ready, literally relaxes, opens and swallows it up. The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. It can take your partner to another sexual realm. For the male species, there’s an extra bonus, the prostate gland is located inside the anus and gets stimulated internally. Anal orgasms are possible for everyone. 

Because it has a reputation for being naughty
People love to be a little bit naughty. Anal Play is one of those things - a dirty little secret - which is part of the fun. For many, it is also often a "first time for everything" type of scenario, which can add to the anticipation and excitement - doing something you've never done before, ever, discovering something new and educating yourself about your body while having fun. 

Because it l has many nuances and scope for pleasure
Rimming or analingus if we're being posh - involves licking, penetrating with the tongue, sucking, kissing, or otherwise orally stimulating your partner. Fingering is pretty obvious - involves using the fingers to pleasure a partner or yourself and Pegging - by definition a sexual practice in which a non-penis owner (aka woman) has anal sex with a man, by penetrating with a strap-on dildo. Pegging is not a gay thing whatsoever it’s about connecting with pleasure and desire.



Hate is a very strong word and while we all have the right to state our own personal preferences and more importantly boundaries, I believe much of the resistance surrounding anal play comes from a lack of education in the cognitive format and lack of experiential somatic (body) experimentation. Below are some of the most common myths associated with anal play. 

It hurts
Anal penetration is not easy to master when you haven’t done it before, especially if you are basing your ideas around porn. For the People ‘hate’ anal sex primarily because there’s often very little or no preparation. When the body is not ready It can cause cold sweats, shivers, extreme emotional anxiety, and a massive chemical release into the bloodstream that causes pain. This is highly unpleasant, but many endure because they feel pressured to.

It is unhealthy 
That is a big topic and the word unhealthy may mean many different things for many different people - from religious perspectives to clinical opinions. I can assure you there’s nothing unhealthy about anal Play but it is true that it requires a better awareness of simple protocols that allows us to experience pleasure stress-free. 

It is gay
I bloody hope so - in its origins, the word gay means cheerful, jolly, light-hearted and I would expect all those elements to be present in anal play as well as fun, excitement, intimacy but if the worry is about being associated with or somehow magically becoming homosexual you need not fret. Anal play is pleasurable and won’t make you any less of a man or a woman or whatever it is you identify as. 

It is messy.
When penetration is involved in anal play ‘accidents’ are a possibility but very rare and there are ways to avoid or minimize it.

Here’s my own personal guidance learn, experience, experiment, form your own opinion, educate yourself… that’s my cue to introduce you to the work of Jack Morin Ph.D. (aka Dr. Anus) author of Anal Pleasure & Health - worth the read but if you are not a big reader, here’s a snippet: 
  • Communicate and be patient
  • Warm-up properly, loads of foreplay 
  • Take it slow, it may take more than a few tries to get to the sensation of pleasure. 
  • Respect your boundaries, 
  • Listen to your partner
  • Watch the reaction of their bodies
  • Lubricate, lubricate and lubricate
  • Use condoms always - when playing with vulva owners once you start anal play don’t go back to the front ever. (Without cleaning first and changing condoms, that is!)

If you would like to have a conversation, learn more, experience anal play with or without a partner or just simply relax and enjoy - The Naked Room offers an incredible gentle collection of anal education, experiences, and massages - Get in touch we are here to assist you. 

With Lube n’ Pleasure (lots & lots of lube)

Kaly M


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